Balls of Fury
This movie was a blast. The script was written by Robert Ben Garant and Tom Lennon (the hilarious, smart creators of “Reno 911” and former members of the sketch group “The State,” where my good friend Ken Marino also got his start), and the minute I got the script I knew I wanted to say yes. “Enter the Dragon” with ping-pong geeks? Bring it!
I got to work with my good friend George Lopez, whom I’ve known for years—he was so kind to me when I was just getting started as a comedian. I also met Maggie Q, who has become one of my closest friends. Not only is she beautiful and insanely smart, but she is hilarious, an animal-rights advocate, and über-cool. Plus she’s like half my size and could totally kick my butt. Talk about badass!
I spent almost all my time on the movie doing scenes with Christopher Walken, who is a monster legend on wheels. He was the nicest, funniest guy you could imagine. People always ask me if he’s strange—apparently he has the reputation of being eccentric. He’s really not. He’s just incredibly accomplished and funny, and because he’s such a legend, he can say and do pretty much whatever he wants on set. I suppose this could make him come across as eccentric, but to me he was a laugh riot. And he was so considerate. We were both essentially dressed like Madame Butterfly the entire flick, carrying hair that weighed 30 pounds and dragging unmanageable trains everywhere we went. He would help me up and down those stairs onto the dais in the main ping-pong tournament room day in and day out. Such a gentleman. Then he would tell incredibly dirty stories and do Marlon Brando impressions and make me laugh until I burst my buttons. Maybe that was his intention!
Chris was a huge practical joker, and one day on set he told me it was his birthday and that he had no one to celebrate it with. I spent all morning running around arranging for cake, cards, balloons, etc., and when we brought everything back to him in his trailer at lunch time, I could just tell the minute I looked at his face that he had been yanking my chain.
In my head I was like, “Damn you, Walken!” But I stuck with it, because I’m not a quitter. I start a hastily planned impromptu birthday party, I finish it. Chris stood up and sliced up big pieces of chocolate cake for everyone, and I thought, “How can I be mad? We get free cake out of this!” And again, maybe that was his intention!
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